"Relax." - - The word hit my spine right between my shoulder blades. I had done the opposite.
Why did this piss me off so much?
Was it the callous nature of the word as it was a part of a much broader context?
Idk. Back then, everything pissed me off. Especially him, the king of gaslighting. Since he entered my life at age 7, his ironic claim to fame has been that he is mentally stronger than me.
Yeah, I know. Enough said.
Thats not where we are going here.
It's more about how naturally when my husband would offer me a "relax." I'd flash a look at him, like any word but that, please.
Isn't it wild how that happens?
A trigger word gives us that twinge of discomfort as it hits the psyche.
Rest assured, I have made my strides here because I was willing to uproot this weed of a memory. It has been worth understanding.
Another word my hubby uses when I am seemingly flustered is "breathe."
And, it's that which I have had a much more delightful history. Back when we began dating, I would get pretty upset about work or my family and my guy would simply say,
"Breathe in ... 1 .. 2 .. 3."
He is not a yogi or a meditation guru.
He's just a guy with a trick up his sleeve.
Super freakin cute.
I had no idea the impact of our breath until he drew my attention to it in those moments. Of course, I learned about it in health classes but notably only ever took away that I didn't pay attention to my breathing.
This simple exercise my man encouraged early on in our relationship impacted my decision to pursue traditional meditation and yoga. If you are familiar with either you know both give focus to breathing.
I am forever grateful for his presence in my life and this brilliant shift in focus. It brings me peace because with loving intention all things are possible.
I leave you with this meditation in hopes you will connect to your breathing and peace too.