Personal Pleasure

What's your comfort level with this topic?

If you aren't following, let me get down to business. I'm talking masturbation, personal physical touch and body exploration of your very own likes and limits. Got it?

So, let's re-evaluate that comfort. Maybe you are like me and have grown to love alone time with your fleshy fantasies. Or maybe you're absolutely appalled by this conversation, and yet -- here you are. Why? Because you can't help but watch what feels like a slow moving train wreck into the wall you've built around your freedom. I know. Tantalizing.

None the less, I'm here for this kind of uninhibited honesty. I believe the greatest power in our life comes right down to our self awareness. Our loving and sincere analysis of our emotions, biases, boundaries, and our communication skills allows us a container to cultivate an experience that feels good. The truth is if you aren't taking this inventory regularly then you're most likely living someone else's imposed perspective of the rules of engagement. And this goes far beyond the intimate moments. We do this in culture. This is a bigger statement.

But lets for a second refocus back on that personal intimacy. Are you open to discussing some pleasure zones? If you're up for a story or two, I've got you. Buckle up, or unbuckle.

Readers choice. ;)

Back in college my girlfriends and I sat in our hoodies and wide legged sweats drinking fountain soda and talking about boys. The boys in the fraternities, in our dorms, classes, or anywhere campus brought us a dose of testosterone. Girls love hook ups just as much as guys. We might just have a bunch of other shit going on in the emotional and psychological wheelhouse that we have to explore. It's my humble opinion that this is backed by stigma and culture just as much as our cycles of our reproduction and the moon phases alike. Just my opinion, but also there are books out there which will educate if you foresee the need.

So first, let's talk stigma. What are your beliefs about women and sex? What are your beliefs about women and masturbation? What are your beliefs about erotica and pleasure? What are your beliefs about cleavage? How about your beliefs around panties, bras, or even breastfeeding? Have you heard of the male gaze? It's a term I learned about in nude art in college. I paid the fuck attention in that class. So intriguing.

Human behavior. The arts. Culture colliding with revolution. It's creation energy. "It's sexy. It's provocative. It gets the people going."

And it does. We are all turned on by bodies. We deny this and scurry around and hide the fact that it's actually healthy and normal. We demonize aspects of it and lock others into ways of expression limited to the constructs of messy perspective. None the less we can do something so small and revolutionary right in our own lives. Want to know what it is?

We can get to know ourselves. Without the impressions of others infiltrating our fucking fortress. Meaning we gain a deep and unapologetic understanding of ourselves. We allow for the rhythm of ecstasy to be claimed without fear of our feelings. Now let me be clear this does not negate responsibility or accountability for our actions. When we start inviting others into the realm of these feelings communication is the currency.

So let's talk about how this very forward Jersey girl called out her fellow female in that college cafeteria while rocking our hoodies and wide legged sweats. The second she shared she never had an orgasm from sex, I just blurted it out.

"But you do when you masturbate, right?" Her face turned fifty shades of something. I felt so bad. She quietly admitted she didn't masturbate.

"OH." -- Whoops. I then shared some self deprecating insights to smooth over the tension I so boldly created. Fuck. These ladies were sheltered. I mean they were hooking up with guys, but they weren't hooking up with themselves. I was the opposite. I'd much rather hook up with myself than invite just any companion to the coronation.

So naturally, I did not stop there. I'm proud to say I gave her that very first O. And snatch your mind back out of that frame. This isn't a menage. I was her secret Santa, and I hooked her up with the ultimate hook up - a personal vibrator. To this day it's my most prized possession. Not a bag or a watch, but a buzzer of some sort. I love a good self administered orgasm. It's the perfect stress buster.

Now, I'm all for interpersonal intimacy. But not everyone has the kind of connection. So let's stay focused on what is actually in our wheelhouse to control. And if it is not perfectly clear, that is our very own climax. So when we are only looking to please ourselves we can take our time -- or go fast, if you've got a deadline, whateves. The point is you are running the show and not at the effort of pleasing, performing, or pacing for any body but yours. It's electric.

And that is exactly the kind of vibrator I've got now from LELO. I've tossed the batteries for a charge that lasts and lasts. Yes momma. Yes. I'm also convinced one of my more powerful settings buzzes out a melodic rhythm quite representative of a transition in Bohemian Rhapsody.

First time I couldn't focus on anything but the striking similarity in song. Though, I prevailed. As always I value time with myself. It's a tried and true way I refuel and relax.

So, I want that for you my friend. And for all my grown up gals and pals who are a part of this community. Go ahead and let me slide in your inbox with all the perks they throw my way. Sign up here to stay in the LELO loop.

If you haven't noticed I appreciate a play on words with writing or a captivating attention with an edgy visual. And I have to say that LELO is top quality in all the things. They are a seriously premium product made of body safe ingredients for your most passion pressing places.

Refinery 29 says, "LELO is a pioneer in elegant sex toy design."

Women's Health and GQ also weigh in giving them accolades for their conversion of luxe and hi-tech intimacy. And I avidly agree.

I dare you to watch their video without being completely provoked. I for one love the way they play with texture and color and lines and all the sensations of our humanity. I love that a brand like this can go there, and a mom like me can share. That's just where culture is at. And I'm here for it. My humanity is beautiful. It's sexy. It's me. And yours, is yours.

Now go get you that O with LELO. √